My biggest regret

My biggest regret

After just learning your longed-for child has passed away it’s impossible to think straight. For me, there were many decisions I made in the earliest moments which I am so grateful I later on changed but it was so hard to think straight.

I feel incredibly lucky we received the service from @remembermybaby. Without them I would not have the pictures that are all over our house and that I look every day at on my phone. Their service was offered to us at a time when we weren’t sure what we wanted and helped us find something we’d never have thought of.

Despite feeling so lucky to have the pictures we do, I always have the lingering thought that I didn’t take enough. I wish we had taken more of us together as a family. I also find it sad to not have any videos but at the time I just wanted to be in the moment.

I’ve raised with lots of medical officials the need to prepare parents for every eventuality which I appreciate is a difficult subject but it’s one that’s very important. During pregnancy, I desperately wish that we’d discussed what we’d do if the worst were to happen. To know the decisions we’d made I could rely on because we’d made them in a sane mind would have given me both comfort and confidence.

I believe it’s important to educate mothers on all possible outcomes of pregnancy. Not to scare them but to give them the knowledge so they aren’t left completely blindsided. I feel a great deal of sadness at how unprepared I was and how looking back there are many things I’d of done differently. My piece of advice to all parents is, to experience a small amount of discomfort having a discussion, to potentially save yourself from living with a lifetime of regret.

The heart will always ache at only having a small amount of photos of your child, at one age and never getting to see them grow which is why I feel memory-making is so important. Taking pictures, getting prints and clippings of hair. All things that may only seem little at the time, will be huge when they’re all you have.
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