Finding purpose after loss..
For all the 7 years we spent trying, I spent them feeling as though I had no purpose in life. All I ever wanted was to become a mum and there was nothing career-wise I ever felt passionate about. Finally, Esme gave me that fulfilment that I’d desperately searched for; growing my longed-for baby and becoming a mummy was the best feeling in the world.
The moment we were told she had gone was the same moment my entire life crumbled beneath me. I had nothing. No purpose, no daughter to hold, no desire to live and no reason to get up each day. I can’t express the pain of going from having everything you’d ever wished for, to losing it all within seconds.
It wasn’t till I did a fitness challenge 6 months later to raise money in Esme’s name, that I felt any desire to even find a passion again. I knew the only thing that brought me any happiness was doing good in her name and this sparked the idea of a business. It took me 5 months to get everything organised and a final month just to pluck up the courage to launch it.
Creating a company as my daughter's legacy which not only helps others but also helps me, is the greatest thing I can think of doing. Throughout all my struggles in life, I’ve tried to use my pain for good and this has been by far my deepest pain so it makes it even more important to me to do good.
When you're suffering loss, I feel it’s so important to find something you feel passionate about because it helps to keep you going each day. It doesn’t have to be something as big as starting a business, even just setting yourself a small task for the day helps you to feel you’ve achieved something. When your in the depths of grief it’s easy to feel there’s no point in life but by finding a purpose these feelings tend to dissipate.
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