Baby loss awareness week is coming to an end, finishing with the wave of light this evening and I wanted to share some thoughts to commemorate it.
Baby loss is one of the loneliest experiences a person can go through, with no one around you understanding your pain. This particular week is challenging for loss parents because we never imagined being part of this group or that we‘d know the pain spoken of. Despite that, I feel it's important to share lived experiences and personal insights to improve the isolation people feel. The more we share, the better support others can provide.
I cannot express the difference it makes to a griever to feel both supported and heard. To feel they aren’t fighting the battle on their own. More than anything they need their child to be acknowledged, just the same as a living child is. Share the sadness you feel and the impact the child had on your life. I promise you, that having their feelings validated is all they wish for.
In the early days of loss, it can be hard to know how to help. I appreciate people not wanting to do the wrong thing so always advise that it’s best to follow the lead of those grieving.
I have provided some helpful suggestions below, ways relatives or loved ones can help:
• Say their child’s name.
• Ask whether they’d like to talk about their child.
• Drop food off on the doorstep.
• Offer to help with funeral arrangements.
• Ask what you can do that will help.
• Sitting in silence with them, just to be there.
• Provide childcare for siblings.
• Remember every day is hard, not only special ones.
• Help to create memories for their child with them.
• Always say something, something is better than nothing at all.
